Her use of the word "drama" is a bit more complicated than awko-taco. For Soph, drama seems to refer to any bit of social tension or unease that arises during the school day. For example, if two girls have some sort of tif or misunderstanding Sophie will report this, depending on the matter of degree, as "There was lots of/some/a little bit of drama today."
We don't get much more information than this unless said "drama" directly involves her. I am quite proud that she is good at keeping confidences (although the same trait makes me a bit leery heading in to teen years). I was always amazed that girls learn the importance of keeping their mouths shut early on. Boys? Oh, boy. I was dazzled when, starting at age 3 or 4, girls were able to keep quiet about who was invited to what party or what social outing lest some feeling be unnecessarily hurt. Boys seem to learn the opposite. They learn to spot and articulate points of vulnerability ("Look at the HUGE BOOGER on Bobby's nose!!!") -- and they retain this (lack of) skill for most of their lives or until a sufficiently managed by a wife ("my wife handles most of our social stuff" -- good thing!).
In my (probably fortunate) experience, then, the much discussed social viciousness of girls seems overstated. Boys, and men, remain the social exploders and charges to the contrary probably have a bit of old fashioned mysogyny about them. That is, the traditional charge that women are leaky vessels, unable to control their emotions, and prone to histrionics still can be employed. During a recent school election involving taxes I came to dread any discussion with a person of my demographic: white, over 40, male. Maybe one third of that group could argue positions fairly without a) insulting someone b) distorting someone else's arguments c) flying into a rage. Women? Glad they were there.
On gender and drama: Sophie also uses "drama" in a more conventional and what seems to be increasingly popular sense: to refer to someone who shows more affect than a given situation requires. The country (and perhaps) the world prefers a more restrained or managed affect, particularly in men, perhaps because we have to talk to ourselves everyday. When handlers and press started calling President Obama "No Drama Obama" it was generally a positive thing. For Obama, there were no Clintonesque scandals or Bush like verbal eruptions ("Wanted Dead or Alive!"). He was cool (another interesting word), almost to a fault.
David Brooks, my favorite current "conservative," recently opined in the NYTimes that it is only Obama's "cool" that keeps him in such a favorable position heading in to the race against Governor Romney. Brooks argues, more or less, that the state of the union is such that a challenger like Romney should be way ahead but, quite simply, Obama's controlled demeanor has won and maintained votes. In 2008 the single most frequently used term to describe Obama positively was "temperament."
Obama has a good "temperament," people said. He was even keeled, rational, thick skinned. No Drama Obama.
What wasn't discussed too seriously, however, was whether he cultivated such a temperament or whether he was born with it.
Early childhood experts over the last 40 years have claimed temperament is something you are born with it. Some kids are just genetically "cool," able to manage their emotions. Others? Try as we might we yell at soccer officials.
In this the modern term temperament mirrors the older, Renaissance term "Grace," or, in its Italianate form, sprezzatura.
Sprezzatura is the art of making the difficult look easy and every Renaissance courtier aspired to achieve it. To make the difficult look easy one must control one's emotions and avoid "drama" or dramatic expressions. Paradoxically, they must manage "drama" by learning dramatic skills. "Acting," is nothing but masking who you really are or what you really feeling to "perform" something else. Balthassare Castiglione, an early 16century humanist, struggled in the opening pages of his influential The Courtier to explain that -- while once has to be born with sprezzatura -- he will now present a whole treatise on how to develop sprezzatura.
Where along the way did women become better courtiers then men?
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